Broken Pieces...

A few weeks ago I read a blog post that really inspired me.  In the post, the writer described a time where the Lord did a tremendous work in her life with a simple broken pitcher.  I felt the Lord telling me I should do the same thing because He had something He wanted to say.  Later that week I began searching for a pitcher that I could use for my time with Him. Once I found it, it sat on a shelf where I could see it for a week and a half.  During that time, I asked the Lord to help me hear what He wanted to say to me.  I didn't want this to be a meaningless activity that I copied from someone else.  I desperately wanted God to speak to me. 


I got up early one morning and decided to get alone with God to see what He had to say.  So, with the pitcher in my hands, I prayed once more then went outside and dropped the pitcher on the sidewalk and watched it shatter into what seemed like a million pieces.  I gathered all the pieces and took them inside.  As I began to sort them, I could really sense His presence.  I took the pieces and started gluing them together and everything seemed to be working out just fine.  The further along that I got though, the harder it became.  Suddenly my mood was yucky and I was upset.  The pieces didn't want to fit back together, I had glue all over my fingers, and I was bleeding in multiple places.  I had reached the point where I was frustrated and wanted to quit...it was too hard and too broken to be put back together.  I gathered up the pieces once again and put them away.  I sat on my bed feeling like a complete mess, a failure.  I wanted to know what I was supposed to learn from that?  What was the point of the whole thing?  As the tears began to fall, I got a text message from a friend.  I told her what I had been doing and how it went.  I told her how it wouldn't go together, and how I was bleeding everywhere.  This was her reply: "Ain't that just like us and life? Not going back together like we want...and bleeding the whole time."  I needed to hear what she had to say and I knew she was right.  I wanted it my way.  I had in my mind the way it was supposed to go and I had lost my focus.  I got so wrapped up in it being "right" that I was missing what God wanted to teach me. God used my friend in that moment to speak to me.  It wasn't supposed to go my way...it was supposed to go His.  He was in control, not me. 


Fast forward about two weeks...


After getting a new perspective on things, I started praying again for God to help me hear from Him.  One night when the house was quiet, I pulled the pieces back out, took a deep breath, and said another quick prayer. I got to work trying to put it back together and it still wouldn't fit back the way I thought it was supposed to.  This time instead of getting frustrated and giving up, I kept praying, asking God to speak.  When I finally had all the pieces back together it looked like a mess. There were cracks in some places and several missing pieces.  I sat there staring at it and wondering what to do next.  Then softly and gently I began to sense the Lord whisper to my heart.  He began to show me some things as I looked at the pitcher.


This is what it looked like...

Before, it was whole and put together...

But then this is what it looked like after it was broken...

And now it looks like this...put back together again...

I began to see my life like the pitcher.  At first glance, the outside looks whole and all put together.  But on the inside I'm a mess...a mess that I can't fix by myself. He showed me that I was not too broken to be put back together. In the end, I WILL be put back together.  He showed me that the missing pieces were things He had healed me from, things I no longer needed. The cracks are there so that once I am filled up by Him, He could seep out and use me to affect others with the same love that He gave to me.


He showed me that this is where I am now...

I am no where close to being put back together.  Instead, I am a work in progress...one where I am growing and learning to lean on Him to fix my broken pieces. It is a process, and I must choose to let him work.  I may be broken, but God has already picked up the pieces and is lovingly and patiently putting me back together...one painful piece at a time.


I am thankful to Him for speaking such powerful truths to me.  For helping me see myself and where I am differently than I did before.  I pray that I will never be the same, that I will allow Him to continue to put me back together so that I can be the vessel He wants me to be...I pray that for you too.


Crystie