CLICK HERE FOR FREE BLOGGER TEMPLATES, LINK BUTTONS AND MORE! »

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Born Again

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Today


This is how I feel today:

Psalm 88

O Lord, God of my salvation,
I cry out to you by day.
I come to you at night.
Now hear my prayer;
listen to my cry.
For my life is full of troubles,
and death draws near.
I am as good as dead,
like a strong man with no strength left.
They have left me among the dead,
and I lie like a corpse in a grave.
I am forgotten,
cut off from your care.
You have thrown me into the lowest pit,
into the darkest depths.
Your anger weighs me down;
with wave after wave you have engulfed me.
You have driven my friends away
by making me repulsive to them.
I am in a trap with no way of escape.
My eyes are blinded by my tears.
Each day I beg for your help,
O Lord;
I lift my hands to you for mercy.
Are your wonderful deeds of any use to the dead?
Do the dead rise up and praise you?
Can those in the grave declare your unfailing love?
Can they proclaim your faithfulness in the place of destruction?
Can the darkness speak of your wonderful deeds?
Can anyone in the land of forgetfulness
talk about your righteousness?
O Lord, I cry out to you.
I will keep on pleading day by day.
O Lord, why do you reject me?
Why do you turn your face from me?
I have been sick and close to death since my youth.
I stand helpless and desperate before your terrors.
Your fierce anger has overwhelmed me.
Your terrors have paralyzed me.
They swirl around me like floodwaters all day long.
They have engulfed me completely.
You have taken away my companions and loved ones.
Darkness is my closest friend.

But God in His love and mercy showed me this this morning:

Lamenations 3: 20-26

I will never forget this awful time,
as I grieve over my loss.
Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this:
The faithful love of the Lord never ends!

His mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
I say to myself,
“The Lord is my inheritance;
therefore,
I will hope in him!”
The Lord is good to those who depend on him,

to those who search for him.
So it is good to wait quietly
for salvation from the Lord.

Dear Lord help me hide these truths in my heart .

Crystie

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

YES TO GOD STUDY CHAPTER 4: BEYOND SUNDAY MORNING

"I still wanted my churchgoing experience to be more than just a Sunday morning routine."



This statement could have come straight out of my own thoughts. If I'm being honest, I would have to say that my whole relationship with Him feels like a routine. My quiet time is a struggle, my prayer life feels flat and lifeless, and church is something I feel I have to do, not something I want to do. Oh how I want things to change. Like Lysa, my greatest desire is to learn about Him, talk with Him, and apply His teachings so that they make a real difference in my life.



Keep Asking...

"His example challenges me to make it a habit to keep asking God for wisdom and revelation. In doing so, I admit my daily dependence on God and my need for Him."



Boy do I ever need Him. It is a comfort to me to know that I can keep asking. I really do want to understand, to know Him more, to feel His heart. I'm desperate for Him to "work" for me. I want to know Him better...I want to "know Him in even deeper ways than I ever thought possible".



Oh Lord give me a renewed desire to study your Word and seek your face...

Crystie

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Yes To God study Chapter 3: When I feel Like I Don't Measure Up

This chapter hit me like a tons of bricks. Many, many times I feel I don't measure up. I feel like I'm not good enough for family, for friends, and even for God. I feel that I can't do enough to be worthy of God's love. I too often find myself asking, why doesn't Jesus work for me? Why doesn't he step in and help. Maybe its something I've done, or maybe I just simply don't measure up. Satan loves it when we ask these kinds of questions. When we get in this frame of mind its easy for us to justify distancing ourselves from God, His Word and prayer. Lysa says this once again reduces our relationship to a checklist of things we feel obligated to do. There are many times I do things because I feel like I should because its the good Christian thing to do.

To know I'm not alone help bring things into perspective. Realizing that everyone has moments like these and are able to move on, gives me hope that I can choose to do the same thing. It all comes down to resting. Resting on what I know to be true...when I fall, I can get back up. When I feel unworthy, I can pick myself up, dust myself off and choose to walk in His Truth. When I walk away. I can find my way back again. I must also realize that I may never measure up according to the world's standards, but that's ok because my worth comes from HIM.

Lysa states, God never intended for us to rely on others for our sense of well-being. Only He is equipped to provide that.

That takes a little pressure off to be perfect and try to win approval from others. The only approval I need is from Jesus and praise God I already have that!

Lysa also stated, Instead of resting my heart in the unrealistic hope that others will make my joy complete, I have to rest my heart with Jesus only.

Oh Lord help me to rest in you and you alone because you are my source for joy and wholeness and worth...

Crystie

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Thoughts

I decided to try and put some of the thoughts I have floating around in my head down so that maybe I can process them a little better.

First let me say that the Beth Moore conference was well worth the 10 hour drive it took to get there. I enjoyed the conference and time with my friends...although they may not think so.

Several things throughout the weekend really spoke to me....

God's love is loyal. It is fierce...His love will fight for me. That is huge when you feel like all of a sudden there's no one in your corner anymore.

He guards His love for us...He maintains it, protects it, keeps it, watches over it. Do we guard our love? Not do we guard ourselves against love, but do we guard the love we have? Hmmmm that's a mouthful to think about.

He also maintains His love for me even when I don't deserve it...especially when I don't deserve it. Are we like that? Do we tend to withdraw our love when we are hurt? Maybe we should take God's stance and withdraw the blessing, not the love.

One of the biggest things He showed me was that my wounds have a purpose. My pain is not for naught. He gave it to me to serve a purpose in me...not so that I will serve it...WOW!

Beth said if we are not careful, our wounds can become idols. I think my wounds, my pain is bordering on that right now. Instead of praising Him, I give all the attention to the pain. That one kicked the breath right out of me. She also said that if you need Jesus, then you are blessed. If you need healing, need a miracle, then you are blessed. I've never looked at it that way. I've always considered it a sign of weakness, not a blessing. I mean, our wounds, our pain is the chief reason He came. Isaiah 61:1 says he came to bind up the broken hearted...not leave them to suffer without out hope. Sometimes my view of God is that He is distant at best...not right here with me binding up my hurts. We tend to take our wounds deep and our healing at the surface. We become what Beth called walking wounds. That is so me...I have allowed my pain and hurts to take over my entire life. I'm so ashamed...but thankfully God is forgiving.

One area that I have allowed to put me in the walking wound category is over a friendship that I have. I feel that I have lost it already and there's no turning back. Things are so different and its hard to accept. I have locked onto one thing that was said and it is consuming my thoughts. It is making me doubt all the other things that have been done or said in the past. I need to find a way to deal with the pain and move on...I don't want this wound to become an idol.

Another area is the depression that I face everyday. Its there, it hasn't gone away, its intense right now...you know it, I know it, God knows it. I need to find a way to live with it and praise Him and his goodness rather than give all my time and thoughts over to it.

So as you can see, my brain is full! Full of thoughts and changes that need to be made. I'm so thankful for a God who is not afraid to tell us the things that hurt. I'm thankful that His healing goes all the way down to the center of our pain, and that His forgiveness goes as deep as our sin. But most of all, I'm thankful that His love is bigger than it all...

Crystie

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

How Long?

This song perfectly puts into words the prayer I'm praying right now...

How long must I pray? How long do I have to wait? I'm begging you to notice me...to turn to me.

I have so many questions without answers, so many tears, so much pain...How long must I wait?

If you are everything you say you are, please come close and hold my heart...I want to hear you calling my name...



Friday, September 18, 2009

Sing Over Me

"The Lord your God is with you,
he is mighty to save,
he will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with His love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."
Zephaniah 3:17 NIV


"Don't be afraid, don't despair,
Your God is present among you,
a strong warrior there to save you.
Happy to have you back,
he'll calm you with his love
and delight in you with his songs."
Zephaniah 3:17 MSG


What balm to my soul to know that my Lord is singing over me...



Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Again...

Its happening again...I don't want it to, but it is.

I don't know if my heart can take it...too much pain and another loss. I don't want to go through this again.

I don't understand why, I just know that the problem has to be me. I wish I knew how to fix "me" so this wouldn't have to happen again.

The depression I deal with has robbed me of so much in my life and its on the verge of taking one more thing that's precious to me and I don't want it to, yet am powerless to stop it. Why does it have to win again?

The last time I faced a loss this big, it nearly did me in. I don't want to be here again.

I've talked to God about it, I've begged Him not to take it, I've even tried a little bargaining...only to realize I don't have anything to bargain with.

Why can't it be the loss of depression? Why can't that be the thing that is ripped from my life? I wouldn't miss that, wouldn't mourn over it, wouldn't have to try to find a way to put my heart back together again.

I tried not to let "me" get in the way, I tried not to care, to love, to trust, to want, to need or to cling to. I tried to keep it in its proper place, to know where it belonged, to keep it from getting between me and God...and yet here I am again.

I don't want "me" getting in the way. I don't want the depression and all that it does to me to win once more.

Why does it have to be this? Lord, I don't want it be this...again.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Truth and Lies


Have you ever been lied to? Did you believe the lie? How did it make you feel afterward? Horrible, I’m sure. No one likes being lied to. Lies can shake you to your very foundation. They can cause you to lose trust, to question your beliefs, to doubt. They can create havoc on your self-esteem. No one likes a liar, but everyone is lied to on a daily basis.


We have an enemy who is set on destroying us and what we believe to be true. That enemy is Satan. He makes it his life’s mission to destroy us with his lies. As Christians though, we have a weapon against those lies…God’s Word. We can dig in God’s Word and counteract every single lie he tells us.


I can say, that on a personal level, I am being bombarded with the enemy’s lies right now. I am very vulnerable and he is taking advantage of it big time. Over the past week, I have dug in the Word (still using my shovel), to discover God’s Truth for myself so that I can fight back.

Since I know that the enemy’s goal is to destroy all of us, I thought I would share what I found. I hope that it gives you a little defense against his lies.


LIE: God has left me.

TRUTH: Joshua 1:5, 9 “…I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”


Isaiah 43:1-3 "But now, God's message, the God who made you in the first place, the one who got you started: Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you. I've called your name. You're mine. When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you. When you're in rough waters, you will not go down. When you're between a rock and a hard place, it won't be a dead end."

Hebrews 13:5 "...Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

Psalm 145:18 "The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth."

LIE: I'm ugly.

TRUTH: Psalm 45:10 "The King is enthralled with your beauty; honor him, for he is your Lord."

LIE: I cant be forgiven.

TRUTH: 1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."


LIE: My life has no purpose.

TRUTH: Jer. 29:11 " For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

LIE: I'm too tired to fight.

TRUTH: Matt. 11: 28-30 "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest."

2 Cor. 12:9 "But he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

Psalm 55:22 "Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall."

LIE: My mind won't ever be whole.

TRUTH: 2 Tim. 1:7 " For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and love, and a sound mind."


LIE: I cant do this anymore.

TRUTH: Phil. 4:13 " I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."

James 1: 2-4 " Consider it sheer joy, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do it's work so that you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way."

LIE: My pain doesn't have a reason.

TRUTH: James 1:2 "Consider it pure joy my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

LIE: I can never escape my past.

TRUTH: Isaiah 43: 18-19 "Forget about what's happened; don't keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I'm about to do something brand new. It's bursting out! Don't you see it? There it is! I'm making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands."

Phil 3: 13-14 "...but one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward."

LIE: I will always be afraid.

TRUTH: Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you."

1 Peter 5:7 "Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."

1 John 4:18 : There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear..."

LIE: God doesn't love me.

TRUTH: Jer. 31:3 "The Lord appeared to us in the past saying, I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with lovingkindness...."

1 John 4 :16 "And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love, lives in God, and God in him."

John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish, but have eternal life."

Psalm 13:5 "But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation."

Psalm 48: 9 "Within your temple, O God, we meditate on your unfailing love."

Isaiah 43: 3-4 "Because I am God, your personal God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior, I paid a high price for you: all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in. That is how much you mean to me! That's how much I love you! I'd sell off the whole world to get you back, trade the creation just for you."


Breathe in His Truth today,

Crystie














Friday, July 24, 2009

Will Somebody Throw Me A Shovel?????



This week in our Bible Study, we are learning about our ancient ruins...things in our past and our family line that are holding us in bondage. This is the point in our study where we start really "digging" into what made us who we are today. This is an important step because we need to dig up the old yuck so that God can plant His Word in our hearts and minds.


Well let me just say that I need a shovel...a BIG one! I've always known that I had junk to be dealt with, but I didn't realize just how far down it went. I may even need me a bulldozer by the time I'm finished (that was for you, Regina! ). To tell the truth, I don't care if it takes a shovel or a bulldozer to clear out my junk, I just want it gone. I want there to be a wide open, spacious place for God to plant His Word in me and heal my mind and heart from the lies that I have carried with me for so long.


Freedom is my goal...freedom for me, and for Christian.


I am willing to do the digging, even though I know it is going to be very hard and at times painful. BUT in order to have God's Word planted, I know must be prepared...getting out the yuck, the rocks, the weeds (the lies, the bondage)...


So...will someone throw me a shovel so I can get started???? My spacious place is calling my name!


Breathe in His Word today...


Crystie

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Restoration

God is doing a mighty powerful thing my friends! He is restoring a family relationship lost many years ago.

I have a cousin who I have not been close to in years. In the last few, we have been completely estranged due to some family circumstances.

Well on Tuesday of this week (don't you just love you some Tuesdays!!!!), we connected through Facebook. I admit at first I was leery and being a bit stubborn about the whole thing. During the first few minutes of our conversation, we just exchanged a little small talk. It didn't take long, however, for us to get to the heart of the matter.

My whole life I have been an outcast in my own family. Through the years, things have been done and said that were very hurtful. When I tried to voice how I felt, I was often told it was all my imagination.

In the past year, both of my grandparents have passed away. Due to the way things were in my family, I was unable to spend time with them or see them before they died. I was devastated. The treatment I received during this time was extremely painful for me. It took many months before I would allow the Lord to deal with me about the forgiveness I needed to do. He reminded me how He had forgiven me and it broke me. I finally humbled myself before Him and forgave them and allowed Him to heal all the past and present hurt.

Fast forward again to Tuesday...During the conversation with my cousin, she revealed that since my grandparents have passed away, she and her mother are now shunned by some of the family. She said that there have been so many hurtful things done and said to her and her mom. This absolutely broke my heart because I know firsthand what that kind of pain feels like. She told me that through this experience, she has come to realize what I had felt all those years. She apologized to me...this is huge my friends!!! I was totally blown away. I told her that I had forgiven her a long time ago...it was now her turn to be blown away.

We talked a little longer after that and decided to get together today (Thursday). Please pray that as we talk all the hurt will just continue to fall away.

I praise Him that He is bigger than our pain. He is love is greater than ours. He is the restorer of all things lost!!!

Have you lost something??? Have you been hurt??? Look to Him...He makes all things new!!!

Breathe in His Word today!

Crystie

Monday, July 13, 2009

More Than Enough...

More than enough...can you say that God is more than enough for you? Sadly, many of us can't say that all the time. Many times we get blinded by the struggles we face, needs, and whatever else that causes us to get our minds off of Him.

The good news is that NO MATTER what we feel, God is still the same! He is still MORE THAN ENOUGH!!!

He is:

Jehovah Jireh, our Provider...more than enough...

Jehovah Rapha, our Healer....set FREE by His stripes...more than enough...

Jehovah Shamma...He is with us...He supplies all our needs...more than enough...



My desire for you and for myself is that we always remember He is more than enough for us...

Our Provider, our Healer, the ever-present provider of all our needs!

Breathe in His Word today!!!

Crystie







Monday, June 29, 2009

My heart hurts

This is where I am today...

My heart is breaking.

I have a friendship that is so close to my heart, and its in trouble. I don't know what to do or how to fix it.

I have tried multiple times to make things right, but it never ends well. I have prayed, I have pulled away to give this person some space, I have kept my hurts and problems with depression to myself so that she wouldn't have to "deal" with them, I have even tried to pretend everything is ok...nothing has helped.

Please pray...I feel like someone I love has died.

My heart is hurting...

Crystie

Friday, June 12, 2009

Music to my ears....



Listen, can you hear that??????


This past week has probably been one of the quietest in my entire life. My sweet boy was on a trip to the beach. While he was having some much needed fun in the sun, me and O-man (Oscar the weenie dog) were playing the quiet game. Everyday when I would come home the silence was overwhelming. Even Oscar wandered around like he thought he was in the wrong house. We just didn't know what to do with ourselves.


You see at my house lives a boy...a boy who is NEVER quiet! His tv is always on...usually playing the exact same Star Wars movie over and over!!!!! He is always making a noise of some kind...whether it's imitating something he's heard on tv, or the sounds of an intense battle between lego men...he's one of those sound effects kids. There's always a fact to be heard, a joke to be told, or the squeak of balloons being made into an animal of some kind. Quiet is not in Christian's vocabulary. He likes to make noise and he likes to be heard. He likes to tell you ALL about the things he's interested in...leaving out not even the tiniest detail. I know all about tornadoes, Star Wars, Storm Chasers, guns, his favorite tv shows, and anything else that may randomly cross his sweet little mind. And let me just say until this week, I didn't know just how much I loved this about my boy!


Things have been hard for me lately, but in a week of silence, it has never been clearer to me just how blessed I am. I'm so thankful for the gift that is my son....


And as I woke up this morning to the sound of Star Wars blaring in my ear, I took a deep breath and sighed...it was music to my ears!

Crystie




Thursday, June 4, 2009

Honesty

I have a struggle going on. I've been fighting God for weeks about being honest to others about myself, where I really am, and my struggles. I don't want to...I would rather hide. It's what I do, I'm much better at hiding than letting others see. BUT I want to be obedient...I just wish it didn't have to be about the secret things.


Most people know that my battle with depression is fierce and ongoing. At times it is debilitating, and I feel like its about to take me under.


The thing they don't know is that I struggle with wanting to live. Do I really want to die? NO! But I don't want to live with this crushing weight either. I'm tired of struggling, tired of hurting, tired of trying to find a way to trust. It seems much easier to just go to sleep and not have to wake up again.
FYI: I AM NOT GOING TO DO THIS...BECAUSE OF CHRISTIAN, but it does plague my thoughts daily.


Another thing people don't know about me is I struggle with a desire to release the pain I feel. I suppose there are many ways, both good and bad, to accomplish this...but for me it is cutting. Of the VERY FEW people who know I do this, none of them understand why. I don't know why myself except that it helps me forget a pain I don't understand, and focus on one that makes sense in my mind. How does this makes sense????? Well, for one, the pain from cutting has a reason...the pain in my heart doesn't. The pain from cutting has a beginning and an end....the pain in my heart is constant. Cutting is a release from a pain that is always there, one I just don't understand. I haven't done this in a while, but the urge is there everyday.


I am also struggling to trust. Trust who? The people in my life...and God. I don't trust very easily. I have been hurt more times than I can count. I'm afraid to get too close, because I'm afraid that when I do, they will leave. This makes friendships very hard. Opening up and allowing someone in scares me to death. I want it, I want to belong, but that involves trust...something I don't have a lot of. This often times leaves me isolated, left out, and alone.


I want to trust God in this place. I want to understand, I want relief from my pain, I want to believe that God is really good. I find myself wondering what good can possibly come from this? When will it end? How much longer? If He is good, then why? Doesn't He see my struggle...my pain? Does He care? This is huge for me. Its affecting my entire life from my relationships with others, to my relationship with Him. I need help in this, and I know it has to come from Him, but with all these thoughts, finding a way to hold onto Him is difficult.


I hope that sharing will help me in some way. I hope that it will help people understand who I am, and why I am the way I am. I hope people will want to know more...to ask questions...to want to know ME better. I feel VERY vulnerable and I'm afraid of what people will think. I don't like being vulnerable.


Honesty is so hard.

Crystie

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Different

Why am I so different? Why can't I open up and share? Why can't I risk my heart and trust?

I so want too with my whole heart.

I am so messed up and so wounded that I am terrified to let others in. When I am in a situation where I am uncomfortable, I retreat so far inside myself that I can barely breathe. I hate this. I have so much I want to say, to share...but I simply can't do it. Why?

I am so afraid of "losing" in front of others, that I retreat and hold on as tight as I can. Inside of myself is my "safe place". But is it really safe? I don't think so. I wonder what would happen if I took a deep breath and opened myself up, and let it all out...right there in front of everyone? What would people say? How would they react? How would I react? Could I even do it? Just the thought of it makes me physically ill. I am terrified just thinking about it. But strangely I want to do this...to let it all out, and let them all in. AND, I think this is what is coming. But I am digging my heels in because I want to protect myself. From what? Hurt? Rejection? The fear that once the dam breaks, and the wall crumbles, I will be exposed. I want my wall to crumble, but I can't bring myself to let it happen. I feel like I have to retreat, run, hide, whatever it takes to protect myself. I can see with my wise mind how destructive my way is verses His way, but my heart needs to catch up. In my heart, I feel like if I allow this to happen, then I will be rejected...again. I can't take that risk...

Where does this leave me?

Different. So different that it hurts.

Crystie

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Will Somebody Please Fill My Cup??!!??

Fill my cup Lord,
I lift it up Lord,
Come and fill this thirsting in my soul.
Bread of Heaven, feed me til I want no more,
Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole.

I don't know about you, but so many times when my cup is empty and I feel hollow inside, I look to others to fill me back up. Sometimes I feel like my cup is always empty no matter what I do. Why is this? The answer is clear, I'm not looking to the right source...Jesus. He is the only one who can fill us ALL the way up, even to overflowing. He is more than willing to be all you need, in fact, He longs for it.

Don't be afraid to tell God what you need, what is missing from your life. Tell Him all the things that YOU have done to try and fill the void yourself, and then ask HIM to fill you with His love and flood you with His presence.

Beth Moore says, " If Christ has not been invited to fill up all the hollow places in our lives, we may be saved---But we are not safe!"
Oswald Chambers says, "No love of the natural heart is safe unless the human heart has been satisfied by God first."

Constantly seeking to be filled by others leaves us and them feeling drained. We become dissatisfied and our relationships suffer because of unmet, unrealistic expectations. So friends, let others off the hook and run to Jesus! He is the only one able to handle our need and totally fill our cup!

Breathe in His Word Today,
Crystie

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Words of Comfort

“…I have loved you with an everlasting love, I have drawn you with lovingkindness.
I will build you up again: You will be rebuilt…
Again you will take up your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful.”

(Jeremiah 31:3-4)


Today these words are a comfort to me because today, I don’t feel very loved, and I don’t feel like I will ever be whole. It is a very good thing that His Words are Truth, and not my thoughts, because my thoughts are definitely in the pit today.


I hate days like this, days that it feels overwhelming and never-ending. Days where everything seems filtered through the lens of depression. Everything is clouded by sadness and what sometimes feels like despair, and a heaviness that I can’t seem to shake. My mind hurts, my body hurts, and my heart hurts.


BUT PRAISE GOD…HE IS STILL GOD!!!!!! He is reaching down into my pit and drawing me out! He is my support and He arms me with strength. He gives me His shield of victory…did you see that? I will have victory over this because He is going to give it to me! He stoops down to make me great…me, who feels so unloved today. He sees all my weeping, hears all my cries for mercy, and He accepts my prayers today…Praise Him! He will deliver me from the deep waters of depression to a spacious place that He has picked just for me!


So until then I will be joyful in all things, I will keep on praying, and I will keep giving Him thanks in this circumstance because this is His will for me…(1 Thess. 5:16-18)
And who knows…maybe I’ll even be dancing soon!



Breathe in His Word today,
Crystie

Thursday, April 9, 2009

“God is our place of safety. He gives us strength. He is always there to help us in times of trouble.” Psalms 46:1 NIRV

A place of safety……

A place to be who you are. A place without condemnation. A place to fall and be picked up again. A place to be broken, and a place to be healed. A place where love abounds and is freely given. A place where love is never taken away.

Strength from him……

Means no more defeat. No more being alone in battle. Knowing that when you stand, He stands beside you. Knowing that when you can’t, He can, He will, and He does! Let God’s love abound in your heart. Stand in the shelter of His refuge. Fight with His strength that only He gives.
“God is our place of safety. He gives us strength. He is always there to help us in times of trouble.”


These words bring such comfort in the midst of my fight with depression. Knowing that I can be who I am without having to hide. I am loved as I am...loved without limits. Knowing I am not alone sometimes is the only thing that keeps me going. Knowing it...not necessarily feeling it. Standing on what I know to be true, is so much better than listening to the lies that the enemy whispers in my ear. Getting through the moment on His strength is so much better than relying on mine, or other's. He is the only one that can give true strength in trouble...in depression...in despair...or whatever burden you may face today.

Remember, God's Word is His very breath...Inhale!
Crystie

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Awesome

I have a friend who tells me..."Praise will get you into His presence every time". I have just recently discovered how true that is. I got Mandisa's new "Freedom" CD today, and let me just say that it is AWESOME. One song though captured me in the deepest part of my soul almost immediately. It's called, "Broken Hallelujah". While I know the truth behind praise, it is often very difficult for me to praise in the midst of my depression...when I feel so broken. I realized though that God accepts our broken praise too...our Broken Hallelujahs....

Broken Hallelujah
Mandisa
...................................................
With my love and my sadness
I come before you Lord
My heart's in a thousand pieces
Maybe more
.....................................................
Yet I trust in this moment
You're with me somehow
And you've always been faithful
So Lord even now
.......................................................
Chorus
When all that I can sing
Is a broken hallelujah
When my only offering
Is shattered praise
Still a song of adoration
Will rise up from these ruins
I will worship You and give You thanks
Even when my only praise
Is a broken hallelujah
.....................................................
Oh Father, You have given
Much more than I deserve
And I have felt your hand of blessing
On me at every turn
.....................................................
How could I doubt your goodness
Your wisdom, your grace
So Lord hear my heart
In this painful place
.....................................................
Repeat Chorus
.....................................................
Hallelujah
I lift my voice
Your Spirit moves
I raise my hands
I reach for You
...................................................
Repeat Chorus
Here is a link for this song on YouTube... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wA9S0g137Pg
I hope it works. If not, go to YouTube and you can find it there.
Remember His Word is His Breath...Inhale
Crystie

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Hi and Welcome to my blog. I hope that all who enter will find something that they can take with them!

Why "From Deep Waters To Spacious Places"? Because that is exactly where God is taking me! He has drawn me out of deep, deep waters and He is taking me to spacious places! I am so excited to see exactly what that will mean for my life. I will give my testimony in a later post, but right now I just want to share with you the verses from God's Word that was the inspiration for the title.

Psalm 18: 16-19
"He reached down from on high and took hold of me.
He drew me out of DEEP WATERS.
He saved me from my powerful enemy,
From my foes who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
BUT the Lord was my support.
He brought me out to a SPACIOUS PLACE,
He rescued me because He delighted in me."

God's Word is alive...It is His very Breath...Inhale!
Crystie