Pray for me....

I am so full of questions today. So much is going on in my mind and heart that I don't even know what I believe anymore. I have questions like, why would God bring me so far only to force me back? Doesn't He see me? Doesn't He care? And if not me, then what about Christian? Does He see him? Does He care what happens to him? I'm at a loss...I don't know what to do. I know the promise I was given but it now seems that God is going back on that promise. Why? What do I do now? Where do I go from here? I'm going to be honest and say that my faith is weak. I'm on the brink of walking out on it and just giving up. What difference would it really make anyway? I need answers. I need to know what to do. I'm in a crisis and don't even feel like I can call on my God to help...that's a very hopeless place to be. It's very lonely. So much has happened over the last few weeks and I am having trouble trusting God's hand...I want to believe Him, but the problems are just too great. I can't see my way around them to even get to a place where I can call on Him. I feel like He has thrown me away. I've been thrown away before and it doesn't feel good. Never would I have dreamed that I would be thrown away by God. I know the Bible says that He will never leave me, but it sure feels like He has. I know satan is messing with my mind, deep down I want to believe that I truly do trust God's hand. But this place I'm in...this crisis, has so clouded my mind and my thoughts that I can't even pray. Will you pray for me? Pray that He will make a way, because right now, there doesn't seem to be a way...only darkness. Did I mention that its lonely here?????