2010

A new day, a new week, a new month, a new year, a new decade...will this be the year that there's a new me?

Will I grow and change?

Will I stay the same and praise Him anyway?

I hope beyond hope that this will be the year He lifts me out of the depression, that 2010 will bring freedom to my soul.

But what if it doesn't happen? What if on Jan 1, 2011 I'm still asking the same questions. What then? How will it affect what I believe to be true? Will I be able to stand it any more? Will I be able to stand at all?

I don't know the answer to those questions, but I do know that I want to be free. I do want to know Him more, in a deeper way. A friend tells me that where I am is where I will get to know Him. Am I willing to stay where I am to know Him better??? I'd like to think so, but if I'm being honest I would have to say I do want to know Him, but I don't want to stay in this place to get that. There has to be an easier way. I know...easy doesn't always mean good. Sometimes hard is better. It's in the tough times, the hard times that we grow and we learn and we see the face of God.

So what am I going to do with this new year? I want to commit to digging deeper in His Word. I want to hunger and thirst for Him. I want to want Him more than anything else in the world. I want to desire Him, I want to long for Him, I want Him to cause me to love Him even more than I do right now.

As the new year begins, my prayer is to be in a place where no matter what, I can trust Him, believe Him, and know above all else that He loves me...

Crystie