Sing Over Me

"The Lord your God is with you,
he is mighty to save,
he will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with His love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."
Zephaniah 3:17 NIV


"Don't be afraid, don't despair,
Your God is present among you,
a strong warrior there to save you.
Happy to have you back,
he'll calm you with his love
and delight in you with his songs."
Zephaniah 3:17 MSG


What balm to my soul to know that my Lord is singing over me...

Again...

Its happening again...I don't want it to, but it is.

I don't know if my heart can take it...too much pain and another loss. I don't want to go through this again.

I don't understand why, I just know that the problem has to be me. I wish I knew how to fix "me" so this wouldn't have to happen again.

The depression I deal with has robbed me of so much in my life and its on the verge of taking one more thing that's precious to me and I don't want it to, yet am powerless to stop it. Why does it have to win again?

The last time I faced a loss this big, it nearly did me in. I don't want to be here again.

I've talked to God about it, I've begged Him not to take it, I've even tried a little bargaining...only to realize I don't have anything to bargain with.

Why can't it be the loss of depression? Why can't that be the thing that is ripped from my life? I wouldn't miss that, wouldn't mourn over it, wouldn't have to try to find a way to put my heart back together again.

I tried not to let "me" get in the way, I tried not to care, to love, to trust, to want, to need or to cling to. I tried to keep it in its proper place, to know where it belonged, to keep it from getting between me and God...and yet here I am again.

I don't want "me" getting in the way. I don't want the depression and all that it does to me to win once more.

Why does it have to be this? Lord, I don't want it be this...again.