Before the Morning...

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has ever wondered where God is in my pain. I think some of us have even asked, If You love me, then where are You? Have you forgotten me? His Word says, no, He hasn't forgotten us. Isaiah 49:14-16 says, "can a mother forget the infant at her breast, walk away from the child she bore? But even if mothers forget, I'd never forget you-never. Look, I've written your names on the backs of my hands. The walls that you're rebuilding are never out of my sight." (Msg)

It's hard when we can't see a reason, but there's always a lesson to be learned. Isaiah 38:17 says, "It seems it was good for me to go through these troubles. Throughout them all you held tight to my lifeline. You never let me tumble over the edge into nothing." And Psalm 119:67 says, "Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word." Verse 71 says, "my troubles turned out all for the best-they forced me to learn from your book."

I beleive God never lets anything happen without a greater good in mind..."And we know that in all things God works for the good of those that love him..." (Romans 8:28).

The question is will we trust Him? Will we wait and look for the good? Will we be teachable? Will we remember that when (not if) we keep the faith and finish the race that there will be in store for us a crown of righteousness, which the Lord will award to us. (2 Timothy 4:7)

Yes, there is often hurt before the healing. But remember, "weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning." (Psalm 30:5)

Crystie

Random things about me....

Well hey there! It's been a while since I actually wrote something, and to be honest...I got nothin!!! So I decided to share some random things about me just for fun. Hope you enjoy!

1. I am addicted to books, socks, and chap stick.
2. My first pet was a dog named Petunia.
3. I know how to drive a tractor.
4. I would love to learn to sign in worship.
5. The only job I have ever had has been in childcare.
6. My favorite age to teach is 2 yr. olds.
7. I have a weenie dog named Oscar...he needs to medicated because he is CRAZY!
8. I love spending time with my friends.
9. My favorite book is, The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom
10. My real name is Crystal, not Crystie.
11. I changed the spelling of my name in the 10th grade.
12. I love to receive text messages.
13. I am afraid of snakes.
14. I wish I could juggle.
15. I iron everything except socks and underwear!
16. I love to shop at Goodwill.
17. My son is my life!
18. I am closer to being free than I was a year ago.
19. I miss my "adopted" family.
20. I very rarely watch tv.
21. I have never been accused of talking too much :)
22. I have a son who talks nonstop!
23. I wish I could have said goodbye to my grandparents.
24. I'm addicted to reading.
25. Most importantly, I'm believing God!!!

It's not a very exciting list but its all I got right now. Take care and don't forget to breathe in God's Word today.

I love you all,
Crystie

Happy Mother's Day!

Addiction...

Does anyone out there besides me struggle with things you are "addicted" to? Well, I will just go ahead and admit that I have one thing in particular that I struggle with...and addiction of sorts. This thing drives me absolutely crazy. I have asked God to help me with it numerous times, yet here I am still struggling. Just when I think I have it beat, it rears its ugly head and tempts me harder than ever. Sometimes I am strong and able to resist...to call on God and the truth of His Word, but sometimes I fail.

I failed today. I feel terrible, humiliated, and just plain sick to my stomach over it. I hit my knees this morning begging God once more for forgiveness and for help. I wonder sometimes if He gets tired of hearing the same old thing. I wondered that this morning.

After I prayed, I went about my day trying to forget the ugliness of the morning. It was then that God let me know that He was listening to my earlier pleas for help. It came in the form of a text message. It was a prayer lifted up for me by someone else.

Here is what she sent....

"Father, I am asking you, Lord, right now to be Lord over Crystie's life and not to let anything become a master over her that is not of you. Lord, I pray that Your breath of the Holy Spirit would ignite her body inside like a flame, and just give her such passion for all you gave her. We need to remember that You are in control of everything. We love You in Jesus name...Amen."

God is so good. He is faithful even when we are not. If you are struggling today, call out to Him...He will hear you!

Crystie

Empty Me

Forgiven

Have you ever screwed up so royally that it cost you so much? That's where I am. The sad part is that there is nothing I can do at this point to fix it. My heart is breaking. Things seem hopeless and I wish I could go back in time. I wish I could make things better, but I can't. All I can do is wait and hope that things work out.

I'm so glad that I can at least be forgiven by God. I'm thankful that there is nothing I can do to make Him withdraw His love for me. He is always there with mercy and grace just when I need it the most, but deserve it the least. Thank You, Lord!

Small Talk

When you are spending time with your friends and family, what's the conversation like? Is it deep and comfortable or is it surface and awkward...kinda like small talk??? Small-talk is usually reserved for first-time meetings or acquaintances, not close and personal. I personally dislike small-talk between friends. It feels surface and fake to me.

I got to thinking about this today and wondered how I would describe my conversations with the Lord. Are they comfortable and deep like those between old friends or are they surface and awkward? If I honestly answer, I would have to say both at times. There are those times where the conversation flows and is sweet, and there are other times where it more difficult.

What makes the conversations with the Lord sweet? The times where there is both listening and talking. Where everything (including my sin) is laid out before Him. Where He draws me in with His Word and speaks to my soul like only a friend can do. Other times the conversation is not so easy, its hard to talk and to listen. As I was thinking about this, I realized that in those difficult times, the problem is mine, not the Lord's. Often times I bring other things to the table like shame, stress, and struggles, and instead of talking about them and giving them to Him, I hold onto them. I say "my prayers" because its the right thing to do. The time with Him feels broken and disconnected. The fellowship feels more like small-talk and its not as sweet.

His desire is for time with us is for it to be deep and meaningful. Conversation that flows and that isn't surface. How do we get to that? What are the key things that make our time with Him flow and more meaningful?

It begins with praise. The Word says that He inhabits the praise of His people. Beth Moore says that, "Sincere praise from your heart will invite God to pull up His chair and become your audience". Praising helps us to remember who He is and what He is able to do.

The next part is repentance. We can only gain victory over sin when we confess it and give it to Him. He already knows our sins, but wants us to acknowledge it as well. Daily confession allows our conversations with Him to flow...letting sin build up causes our time with Him to be broken and awkward. Make a habit of confessing daily!

After times of confession, we can enter into times of intercession. Praying for others is so important. Ask God to reveal to you who He wants you to pray for everyday. Beth again says that to be more effective just pour out the need and don't give Him suggestions. He is more than capable of working things out for good.

Once we have prayed for others then we can pray for ourselves. I don't know about you, but I need help everyday to live the life He has called me to. Again, He knows the things we struggle with, but He wants us to acknowledge that He alone is capable of taking care of them. It helps us to really know and trust Him.

The last thing is equipping. We are all called to serve God, and we can't do this by ourselves. We need help that only He can give. He is the one that gives us everything we need to live and serve Him each and everyday.

In all these things it is remember to thank Him. Philippians 4:6 says, "in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God". Thanksgiving should be woven throughout every part of your time with Him. Thank Him for His faithfulness, for hearing your prayers, for His mercy and forgiveness, and for being big enough to handle all we lay at His feet.

We should be in constant prayer with Him all day long. The Bible says to pray without ceasing. I realize that every prayer we send His way are not going to be this detailed. But I also know that there has to be a time everyday where we put these steps in practice. Our ability to live this life depends on it.

I wish I could say that I have talks with God like this everyday with little breath prayers lifted up throughout the day, but I can't. Many times I let life get in the way, I focus on one circumstance or another. I focus more on the problems that are facing me, rather than on the One who see them all and has a plan to work them for my good. I don't know about you, but I don't want to have small-talk with the Lord. I want to know Him intimately and deeply like two friends or like a child talking to her Daddy.

Lord, help me to come to you daily and lay it all at Your feet. Speak to me through Your Word. Thank You for desiring deep, meaningful time with me everyday....Amen.


Crystie